Prisonment?

Read a few blogs of my friends today...Realised everyone around me have been living like shit juz like me this few months. When can we ever be happy? I guess life for me have really been bored with studying this few weeks...but sometimes when i feel like i m study hard , i still feel that i am hardly studying. Life have been shaky since i entered University. Never in my life had i been so unsure, yet i still have to put on a big smile to everyone who walked past me. Sometimes , i just feel like giving up. Today , i messaged a friend whom i had not seen for quite a long time since she had not been going for tutorials. She said she couldnt stand it anymore and felt like giving up. That was real devastating. I wasnt sure how to comfort her though and i guess what she needs is not comfort alone.
As we grow older , i guess we are more independent. The more it is the way we are, the more we care less about ppl's feelings. We cant be really be bothered to care what other people feel since we are already bottled up with our own problems. Once i felt real devastated when i told my friend my problem , and guess what she said when i told her my story? "sorry i need to sleep now. Gtg " that really broke my heart. I guess these few weeks , i had grown to be independent of my nus friends whom i thought i could depend on. No longer talk to them or contact them anymore. Sometimes , i really admired myself for my independence , or maybe our friendship wasnt strong enough in the lst place for me to feel sad.
Realised a good way of telling people our problems which is to write emails. Had been writing emails to one particular friend, my uncle agony. Thank god , i have him to help me think of solution to my problems.
Not sure what my purpose in life is now. I guess no one knows either. I mean what the heck would i care. We are all engrossed in our own things in our own world. No one bothers to care about anyone. Everyone just want to be cared for. What the heck is this world becoming to? i just dont understand and i dont care a damn. i will just be an artificial me, living in a matrix. when i escaped from it, let me face the reality.


( Hey june, sorry for not being there for you when u had encountered problems. Can wrote email or call me if you still feel bothered by your things. Friends forever)