The journey will be tough. I am starting to develop the feeling which i had years back. It is hard to form meaningful relationships with so many people at the same time. This time , it is a bit different. Everyone can't be bothered , even me too. No point, i guess. Deep down, I am uncertain of what i want also. Isnt this something which i have been praying for? That people will stop bothering me? But, it is a must that we have to form bonds, to build a strong relationships, even if it means putting on a false smile. It is so tedious , having to think of conversations to strike with those people when it is obvious that we really have different wavelengths. I just hate to have my personal time taken away just to build bonds with people whom I really have no interest in. More friends = Less time = More burdens. I just feel like being the way I am. But it is impossible. Why can't the walk be easier? What's the point of sharing when in the end more problems will be rebound back to you? More serious talk= More trouble. I hate it when people said they understand me because if i don't even know myself , how do people know me? Sometimes I hate myself too, for being so selfish , for not carrying out what i have promised myself to do. Whatever it is ... i really really pray that things will change...



Aside...Thanks ruth for the talk. I really appreciate it. Will keep u in prayer for your mission trip