life

Something got me to ponder.... what is my purpose in lifE? i am not very sure myself...for my parents? for my friends? for god? what is the reason of my existence? Sometimes when things are too much for me to handle ... i will always of these questions... as usual.. i m always stuck with finding an answer.
i yearn for a life which is slow paced... going to a place where no one knows me or anyone to care about me...how good would a life like that be... jux lazing around ... eating an apple...reading all my favorite books...or imagine the impossible....
i always want to be a farmer...to look after cows...sheeps and even chicken...i love the nature...or i shld said .. i love freedom.. from everything... just doing what i like...
Someone once told me that .. when you are in a deep pit, dont be despair , becoz there are deeper pits around and we should be consoled that we are not there. i guess that easier said than done... but i usually feel better when i think this way...
Sometimes i just wish to disappear from the world... wont that be fun.. or to find some fairies or gypsy for them to grant my wish...i wish i am a garfield... all the fun he can have....
i missed my primary sch days where everything seems so smooth... all the ambitions , the dreams the inspirations... things were much easier then...no worries or unhappiness... as one grow older.. things seems less clear... everything or everyone is masked... no one is real...
Sometimes choices are quite difficult to make ... any choice make in life will have a consequences...be it good or bad... sometimes i wonder how much wrong decision i had made.. i guess countless....
now i really have no idea what life is ... all i know is to study .. my best shot...all the rest seemed so far away... sometimes i wonder whether i m living in a dream... or is everything juz a figment of imagination?
well, no one knows... all these are just confused thoughts in my mind.. quite disorganised... pls dun mind this entry....