As the worship songs were playing on my media player just now, I was reminded of God's love.

Amazing and unconditional love.

Holy holy , God almighty ... There is none like you....

The lyrics kept ringing in my head.

He died on the cross for us.


Someone once told me he is a selfish christian - God only exists when there is problem. Commitments are more than what he can take.

I was not shocked when I heard that. In fact , I understand how difficult a Christian walk is. It is a challenge of faith and your love for God. Sometimes, I have not love Him deep enough. Not as much as He love me.

Being a christian is not as simple as saying " I love God".
It's more than that. It is having a relationship and not having doubts about this intangible relationship.
It is not about attending church. It is about understanding His Words and even feeling the pain He went through. It is about loving people the way He do. It is about being more child-like in Christ.

Sometimes, I wonder whether I can give Him all my love. I do struggle with quiet time and even feel that I have no more strength to care about anyone anymore. I feel so spiritually dry these few days. To the brink of giving up. It's really hard. Am I going to live my life just like that ? I really pray for a breakthrough in my spiritual.

Just a few days ago , I received the news that Kaf 's mum had passed away. It was so sudden. It just sets me thinking about a lot of things. Life. What is it really about? Just a short experience before I go to heaven? I am really not sure....