Crammed

My mind is so crammed with information now.

3 more chapters to go before I reread everything again.

Looking through the past year papers, I regretted not taking it when Chua fook kee is teaching because his exams questions are so conceptual. The rest requires memory work.. Arrrrggg!!!!
I hope Nic hon's question will resemble Chua fook kee's.

1 and a half hour more before my father comes.

I shall set off to read my last third chapter now. Hopefully can finish everything by tonight....


VoooZZZZZZ

Crammed

My mind is so crammed with information now.

3 more chapters to go before I reread everything again.

Looking through the past year papers, I regretted not taking it when Chua fook kee is teaching because his exams questions are so conceptual. The rest requires memory work.. Arrrrggg!!!!
I hope Nic hon's question will resemble Chua fook kee's.

1 and a half hour more before my father comes.

I shall set off to read my last third chapter now. Hopefully can finish everything by tonight....


VoooZZZZZZ

One of the last warriors left in the battlefield...

I have been feeling quite down these few days for no apparent reasons. Pissed at everyone around me. Every tiniest things people do seem to get on my nerve. Thanks Jingting and hweesim for lending a listening ear to me to let off my steam.

Thanks for praying for me , brothers and sisters.

I have been slacking since Stats paper. Just started to feel scared yesterday midnight when I realised I only touched one chapter of my textbook. Gosh!!! I want to do well for this paper, to compensate for my Bio psychology exam. God, please give me wisdom and grace.

The only thing which put a smile on my face is the PSLE math results of my 2 students whom I have been tutoring. They both got an A. I was so scared for them because they usually do very badly during their CA. I was glad both my effort and theirs paid off.

I have already made plans after my exam already . Hurray...

2nd of Dec - CG outing
3rd Dec - Serena's birthday bbq
4th Dec- Huiyi's farewell potluck
5th Dec - Ktv with layhwa and Peiying

I'm so excited. There is so much things I want to do.

Bunk over at Xin hse - wild night
Climbing Bukit timah hill with steamboat at Amk for diner
KTV with Patricia
Meeting up with my GEk friends - I missed them so much. (Denise , yicong , Alvin and Jamal)
Fellowshipping with Joni and Justina - Mango sale , here I come!!!
Reading many many good novels. If you have any to recommend, please tell me.
Replaying Sims family - I want to build lots and lots of family.
Relaxing at a pub - I want go Shisha.
Going Christmas shopping with my Mum.
Buying Christmas presents for my friends.
Cousins gathering

I hope this short holiday is enough. There are so much more I want to do....

yummy Fruits complimentary from Ephriam... 

Yesterday's stats paper was quite managable. At least , that's what I think. As compared to last semester, the paper seemed so much easier. I guess probably I finally GOT the hang of studying for stats. But too bad , that's the last stats module I am ever gona take in my life.

Sometimes, I feel that people are weird. They want your comments only when they are good. This is what they call "sharing". When it is contrary to their beliefs , they come up with thousand of explanations or reasons to prove they are right when I only need one point to tear down all their "evidences" which they need to protect whatever they are believing.

Even worst, they will feel that your walk with God is wrong. Iron sharpens Iron. That's the motto I have been listening to. Probably that gives them the reason to SHARPEN whatever iron in WHATEVER way. Sometimes, even among Christians, there are debatable issues , like , if your body is the temple of the holy spirit , you should protect your body, so having a tongue stud or tattoo is a NO-NO. Gosh...Is that correct? If it is , I guess most Christians would have violated the rule. Most have ear holes. Well, as what I say , it is a debatable issue.

I hate people forcing me to go for things which I absolutely have no interest in. So what if it is good ? Different people differ in their taste. Imagine me asking you read Romeo and Juliet or even Macbeth ? Not everyone loves it. Sometimes I wish people will stand in other people's positions to see it from their point of views. From all these, I learnt something. In order to make people feel good about themselves , I shall abide this principle to some of the people I know which will save me a lot of trouble from "arguing" with them.
Here goes...

Qing is meant to be seen , not heard.

My internet connection is down at home. I feel so empty without surfing the net during my study break. I think it was due to my brother gaming all day long at home and overworked the wireless modem. Humph!!! I hope he finds someone to repair it soon.

Yesterday's bio psychology paper was in a mess. My mind was not focused with thoughts running here and there. There was this question about why action potential follows the principle "all or None". Damn..I swear I studied this during my A-levels. I should be able to answer that quite smoothly. But ...

There is alway a BUT...

My thoughts were scattered. I couldn't organise my essay. In the end, I threw whatever I know or could find inside the book. I don't even know whether I answer it correctly. I just feel so ...


Stats paper is tomorrow. Phobia from last semester. I hope I will do well.

I need God's GRaCE . Please pray for me....

There I goes again .. blogging for the 2nd time today....

Exams make me blogs more.

There was a jam on my way back just now. Stucked in my father's car for 40 minutes due to a major accident along the expressway. About 4 cars were involved.

It was quite funny on the car just now because the broadcaster was talking about how to deal with adolescents. One of the parents who managed to call in talked about how he consoled his son over his breakup with his girlfriend. This was what he said...

"Guy who loses a girl just means that he had tasted one more flavor in his lives but girl who loses the guy loses a flavor in her life too."

On hearing that, Joanne who hitched the ride on my father's car gave a disgusted snort. It was quite immediate and me and my dad burst out laughing.

On 2nd note , I was quite angry too because of the sexism being broadcasted over radio unwarily....Humph!!! They should do something about it....

Here I go again...

I need to study .....God save me ....

Stucked in the library...I was looking through my lecture notes for bio psy and I realised I know nuts about it. Reason being - I didn't attend much of the lectures this semester.

People are weird. They think that open book based exams are easy.

"Just read and read lor. So easy"

This was the advice given by my friends..... They are mad. Read and read? They think I am a robot? Sometimes, no advice is better than having any at all.

I was trying to get hold of the past year papers via exam portal. Guess what it said..."Security Problem (to0 many users?) " I nearly fainted when I see it. Is my bio psy lecturer trying to play a joke on us by putting this corny comment? Well, he seemed like one who will do so. Thank God I printed my ages ago but I need to check past past past years because Peiyun said Steven Graham is lazy and always repeat questions. Need double check.

I hope the system will be ok soon ....blab blab blab.. I need to spot question now...

Just had my diner at such an ungodly hour.
I want to piang the whole night studying.
5 more chapters to read through before I dived into past year papers.
hmmm.. give me 10 hours. I should be able to do it.
I don't understabd why humans have diminishing returns when they study.
I want to have absolute focus.

My mum just replenished the chicken essence for me. Thank God she doesn't know that I usually take 2 to school to give my friend. She nearly found out that time, but I told her I drank both to have superb effect. It doesn't sound convincing because she gave me a weird look. I guess she knows, otherwise how can she be my mum?
When my dad drove me back home from school, I hinted him to replenish the stock again in case my mum forgot.. heee....and here it is today... haha...

Poor me has been mugging in the library everyday. Everyone have been commenting that I looked tired...Sobzzz....I am sleeping more than I should already....8 hours a day...isn't that enough.. It's funny though because I want to go school at 8 everyday to do quiet time with Ephriam first but in the end.. I ended up arriving at 12....oopss....

Christmas is coming and I'm so excited... yeah yeah yeah!!!

Remember to ask me what I want for Christmas!!!

It's time to mug....

Yippee yeah yeah...Shaohong just told me on msn that he is thinking of settling in a church.

I'm so happy!

Serena came back today too. She has been someone whom we have been praying very hard for...Thank God for everything!


I just came back from Ang Mo Kio library. I realised when I have a lot of time ( Assumed) , I seemed to be slacking more than usual. Not really productive today. 2 more days to biological psychology exam. OMG!!! One of my most difficult modules of the semester. Relying on faith now.

I'm so tired...Waiting patiently for Vampire show on tv....heeee

I suddenly have the urge to have long hair......

How long can I resist from cutting my hair...

Challenge me....

Social paper today...

Damn!

Overstudied!

Browsing through the question , I realised I only have to study the first four chapters to answer the questions instead of choke on 14 chapters of my textbook.

Social paper was easy which means that ....EVERYONE WILL DO WELL....
Project, therefore, will be the determining factor.

AND SOMEONE SCREWED IT UP....

I know I shouldn't be bearing a grudge but sometimes it is just difficult...

Forgiving is easy but forgetting is not.

Never mind...Me and Peiyun decided to choose our project mates carefully next time....

It's Papa birthday tomorrow!!!

So sad .. I have to mug at the library till late tomorrow because Saturday is my exam and my stupid sister keep teasing me because they will be going for a big feast tommorrow. I want to go too...Sobbzzz.. I am sick of canteen food. I feel like puking. blab blab blab...Bought a nice Crocodile shirt for my father though. Quite nice!! Thanks to my sister who took the time to shop for my dad's present. My brother and I are super busy...3 Cheers for my sister...

Celebrated Rena's birthday today at Grinning Gecko. Yippee yeah yeah!!! Biyun bought a Tiramisu cake. It was awesome and I love it. I guess everything taste nice when you are stressed. As usual , Biyun's voice filled the whole nus library. haha.... Disrupted our sacred place for studying. Weiyang (Dillon) , David and huixian came and joined us today too. It was just like a small CG gathering. I'm so exhuasted. Overloaded , I guess. I need a long break to recuperate after my exam. I can smell Christmas coming!!! Hurray!!!!

It's exam time AGAIN!!!

I haven't seen the library so filled before. All thanks to the freshies this semester.

I seemed to be isolated from the world these few days. Lost touched with the outside world , I guess. Every morning when I wake up, I will head off to the Journal section in the Central library to meet Ephriam to STUDY. Thank God he is there early to BOOK seats. Can you believe it ? Book seats...NUS people are real mugger! But I like!!! heeee.....

Ephriam has been bringing lots of fruits these few days, as usual. But I find it quite funny because I am always reminded of how he was stopped by Uncle Kaf when he was eating a pear happily in the auditorium when the pastor is preaching. It was a amusing sight. Rena tried to steal chinese dates from Ephriam when she barely know him. haha....Shame on my friend...

I realised that when people study together , there were more motivation. I love it...Arts library is my second home now. My first paper is 2 days away.

Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!

Joke of the day...

Which is more scary ? Terrorists or Sars?

Sars. Because even terrorists are scared of Sars...

Was browsing through some of my friends' blogs when I came across Clement's blog , as usual , pessimistic and sad. He wrote one sentence in his most recent entries which makes me sort of discouraged. In his entry , he wrote ...

If I Try my best, Would it be Sufficient?

To me, I felt that it would not be sufficient. It just spurned out some sad thoughts in me. Trying my best is not enough. There is always more to do.

On a personal level, there is no end to doing your best. What is best? How do you know that's your best? Or are you trying to just live in a denial state that you have done your best?

On social level, people are always demanding more and more of you. How many times have you invested your time listening to people's problem , only to realise that no one is there when you needed them? How many times have you tried your "best" to help someone and get blamed when things go wrong?

The world is imperfect. Nothing is sufficient and I doubt it will ever be.

Shuan !!! Superman in disguise... 

Masked

Yesterday was a super drained day for me , both emotionally and mentally.

Discipline.

Humming on the word - discipline. I love order in my life. But when things occur unexpectedly and disrupt this peace, I get super upset and that is why I dislike people who can't hit their deadlines , not once but many times.

I don't understand why it is wrong to enforce deadline. FANCY BEING ACCUSED OF NOT KNOWING HOW TO LOVE OR BE MORE ENCOURAGING TO PEOPLE. I feel so ashamed for whoever those IDIOTS are who can't even do such a simple thing. And especially those who talk so loud about whatever you believe in. Shame on you!!!!

" Oh , you don't understand the group dynamics. I think you shouldn't be so strong headed. There may be reasons why people can't reach their deadlines. You should be more tolerant. And somemore , our leader has not even spoken a word about it. You should learn to love"

TO HELL WITH THAT.

I can say that too. It is not you who is taking on the responsibility. Am I your mum? DO I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU?

FOR GOD'S SAKE , HOW OLD ARE YOU ? IF YOU CAN BE SO "LOUD" ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS , ARENT YOU ASHAMED THAT YOU CAN EVEN FOLLOW SUCH SIMPLE DISCIPLINE WHEN ALL THE OTHERS CAN? YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO EVEN SPEAK OF WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN.

Well, whatever it is , just take it that I am a cold-blooded animal , insensitive and discouraging.

I won't drop a tear for any accusation for what I did anymore. I believe in discipline and I will do just what I said. I will still keep reminding you. But if you do not adhere to the deadlines, I will not hesitate to carry out what I am suppose to do.

My sisters in Church ... 

Thanksgiving

It's thanksgiving time again....

God is indeed awesome... working wonders in my everyday hassles of life
Here I begin....

1) Thank God for protecting my laptop. ( read my previous entry)

2) My pocket has been super tight this month. Odd month means I need to pay for my cable bills on top of my ever expensive handphone bills. I was praying quite hard. God answered my prayer. My mum volunteered to pay my handphone bill for this month and even increased my pocket money. Amen!!! More money = more blessings to other people

3) My group got A- for our stats project. ( Thanks ex -cg and current cg members for praying)

4) Thank God for a happy family.

5) Recently , my sister told me she has gone back to church. Even my cousin is a convert now. Amen! More warriors to reach out to my family.

6) Thank God for Shaohong. He told me recently he will devote more time to God and is willing to learn to be committed to him. It has been a long harvesting time and I hope it will be time to reap the harvest soon.

7) I have been extremely happy these few weeks. Thank God for the optimism and joy in my life. Thanks for putting many angels in my life to encourage me.

I love God!!!!

Phew!!!!

I NEARLY lost my laptop today!!!

After a long day studying with weiyang (dillon) , huixian and friends , I was totally drained. In the evening , I met up with Biyun and Patricia for diner at J8. I can't believe I left my laptop at Pasta Mania after my diner and only to realise it when I was at the bus stop about to board the bus.

God is really amazing.

While I was at the bus stop , I saw a missed call on my handphone. It was from my mum. I guess the word missed enter my mind subconsciously. I was searching my bag for my mp3 when I realised I really did MISSED my laptop.

I tried to recall where I last saw it and at the same time pray that it will still be there where I left it.

Amen!!!!

Indeed , God answered my prayer.

When I went back Pasta Mania , I asked the waiter if he had seen any laptop and immediately he pointed to the staff at the counter that I was here for my laptop.

Guess what was the first sentence which the waitress at the counter said when she saw me...

"You really must thank God!"

Wow! I was quite shocked when I heard that . Yes. Indeed I must really thank God.
God is really wonderful, forever blessing this silly child of His....

Thanks Father...

Still (Hillsongs)


Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are god
Find rest my soul

In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust


This is one of my favorite song of all times and have been my source of support everytime when I am down or demoralised. I simply love the lyrics......

I feel so ashamed of myself today.

When Weiyang called me today to ask for the values for the mean table for our stats project , I ended the conversation with ...

"Ya , if there is any problem , don't call me"

Although I said it in a jokingly manner, but I really meant it at that time. Shame on me. Where has all my Christian teaching went to? I really don't believe I said such a thing and MEANT it somemore at that time. I felt so guilty as I sat down to reflect on what I had said. Dreadful sin.

WWJD - What would Jesus do ?

This phrase is a reminder to me wherever I go or whatever I do. But today , it just seemed to slip off my mind. I guess I am just frustrated at the module itself. I just can't seemed to score for the module, no matter how hard I study. And now , this stupid report robbed me of my precious study time. I just feel like getting rid of it and just submit whatever we have at hand.

I must start looking on the bright side. But I'm too overly optimistic. I need a balance. I must learn to accept setbacks.

I resolve to smile at every problem I encounter from now on.

The flesh is weak.

Once again , I went on a retail therapy. Well , unfortunately , the most satisfactory thing I bought today was not for myself, but for "uncle" Kaf , one of my former CG members.

Guess what ? Jingting and me bought him a book on Christian dating today. The book is so funny that I kept laughing as I was reading it in the life bookshop. I can't wait for Sunday. He is going to treat us before our evangelistic training. YAhoo....

Last Sunday , I was approached by Sister Laiying to join the Kidz club, NOT as a kid but as a member. I like kids and always have an affinity to them, but not babies. I guess for me, commitment is my greatest concern now. But I told her I will give her an answer after my exams.

A childish thought. But I have often thought of how my children will look like in the future and how I am going to spend all my time on them to love them like how my parents love me. It's truly amazing. I love thinking about the future , even though it seemed so unpredictable.

Well, I guess i should stop daydreaming for now. Need to check my stats first draft. Hope it will be the last too...