My itchy hand on june's note.. hahahah...Artistic me! 

More pics at xin house.. Narcissitic me! 

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

Went Xin's house to study overnight yesterday...But it turned out that we played most of the time. I have no idea what we were doing either. Time really flies when you are having fun. I guess it is back to reality when I stepped out of Xin's house today.. Back to a world of rat-race and competition... I dread my life now....:(

Sorry Choy for not being able to help you.. Hope you are feeling better too... See ya in school on Saturday!!

Back to my book now...

Me and xin woke up the earliest.. so we took the early bird pictures without Dumbo june!! 

3 teh terik.. 2 ice 1 warm please! 

Supper on Xin!! 

It seems like we are all not studying!! June is the worst!! Eat and play !! 

Before June came!!! 

Xin's mum cooking! 

Chin hao's Jazz PErformanCE





The colorful blocks of UCC!!

The six of us again! 

Pic  

Pic 2! Smilz! 

Chin hao's Jazz performance! 

I am worried for not worrying about my tests. I seem to take things lightly this semester.

My anxiety and sadness are buried deep down in my heart- so deep that I can no longer feel it.

Have I subconsciously hypnotised myself?

Sometimes, the tinge of “feel” just slipped into my mind unknowingly and a surge of pain just burned inside my heart. My eyes are just tired of my tears and I am tired of putting on a happy face, which I am too accustomed to. Will I be able to handle if all the hidden pain and sadness are all unleashed at the same time? Will I be able to bear everything?

I am scare of the future. I am no longer sure of what I want. I feel like I am no longer control of my life.

Is this really all it is to life?

It hurts when you know there are certain things, which may never be able to get – certain things which are so dear to your heart. It hurts even more when people try to put you down from trying, even though they did it unknowingly.

I need to seek out the motivation, which I once had. The motivation, which was utterly defeated by my fear and nonchalant. Will I ever to find it again?

Please do not ask me whether I am fine. The answer is obvious. I do not need any encouragement because they will not make me feel better.

I need to stand strong and to face up my challenges ahead bravely…

A night of jazz music ... with great companion from my church friends.

Well, the first part of the performance bore me out. Not because it was not good but maybe because I didn't really know how to appreciate it. I like the second part though- with duets , solo and trios. The songs are also more lively. Chin hao sang marvellously and I was glad I went. I guess I saw another side of him tonight. I used to think that he was a brainless jerk who was insensitive and proud , at least that was what I heard about him when I was in church. But I realised people's perceptions can be quite biased at times. I was quite impressed by him when I grouped with him as station masters for the Fantastic Race. He also taught me how to deal with tacky situations and to interact with people. He is one great brother!

Enough of him. The focus is on the performance and not on him. Well, I guess I diverged. All in all, I would say that my money was well-spent.

The sad thing is .. I can't upload the pictures because the I have not installed the cd-rom yet. *Sobzz* - my cd reader seemed to be spoiled. I think I have to send it for service soon.

These few days, I seemed to meet people at weird place. I met Zijia at Changi , then Paul at Sim lim and today , Satish , Gary and Cheehua at the University culture hall. They are still look the same. Hee... I guess there are not much they can change either. :p

Looking forward to my adol quiz on Tuesday... Then i shall start on my Abnormal essay while studying for my Dev test.. ....Yawn.. it shall be a busy week ahead...

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfect - quoted by Ziyi

Today is the day!

I finally bought my camera. My sister and I wanted to buy the Canon Ixus 60 at first but we ended up buying Pentax E10. It is slightly more expensive. According to the uncle, the quality of Pentax is more universal but for C***on , it is only recognised locally. But then , seriously, I'm not really one who cares about the nitty gritty details. As long as it can take my beautiful memories, all is fine with me.

After that , we went to have diner at Komalas. Well, I didn't use that "foot in the door " technique though. My sister volunteerily treated me since she commented that I was the poorest in the family. *sobZ* Quite true though.. hahahaha... I'm a poor , spoiled and lazy princess at home. Then again , I guess I am too dependent on my family. At the same time, I don't want to be independent. Gosh ! I really don't know what I want. I guess it is just part of adolescence - Identity crisis. ( I guess I'm too into adolescence psychology now. Flooded with information for my test on Tuesday)

Read an email just now. I guess I am overwhelmd by how different two person can be. I realised time can never make up the differences no matter how hard one try. Sometimes, it is better to let go. It may not be the best solution but at least it is better in the long run. Never mind. I think my thoughts are all over the place now.... Time to take a break!

I'm so excited... Going for Chinhao's performance tomorrow. Shall take loads and loads of pictures!!!!

YIppEE yeAh Yeah !!

Why do I have so much time to change my blogskin again?

*soBz* - I was left with no choice. The Naruto backdrop just went WHOOSH ... missing. I guess it has something to do with the bandwidth. Whatever... Or maybe it is an omen for me to spend less time watching Naruto? Nah..I shan't believe it. Anyway, it is back to basic , once again. No more Naruto background.

Well, I had a wonderful diner with my brother and sister at Changi. It was an impromptu outing. My brother came home early today and suggested that we have an outing. YipPee... It was nice hanging out with them. I have to give credit to my brother. His driving skill has really improved since the last time I sat in the car. I felt like vomitting in the past whenever he drove. But now.. No more! He is finally EXPERIENCED ! We had our favorite stingray and kangkong, plus a few more assorted dishes to go along. Satisfied , I would say. Nothing beats spending time with your siblings, plus my brother paid for everything. I am seriously BROKE! I didn't really spend much (* ya rite * - imagining what Jolene will say while reading the blog) . Ok. I admit I spent a lot these few days. Retail therapy. hahaha..Whatever. I guess I shall only go to school next week. No more going to town. Maybe I can meet my sister for diner every night.. hahaha... the I shall try whether the "foot in the door" technique works. (hope I remember correctly the name.)

Less than 24 hours... I'm so excited. I'm going to get my camera tommorrow. YipPee YeAh Yeah !!!!

It shall be a beautiful day for me....

The best way to destress is to watch NARUTO!

I'm totally in love with him.

Lost in the world of fantasy and jutsu ...

The story of Naruto takes place in another world where ninjas are the ultimate power, In the village of Konohagakure live some of the stealthiest and most respected ninjas in the land, But 12 years prior, Konohagakure faced a fearsome threat - a nine-tailed fox demon, which terrorized the village and caused massive destruction before it was finally defeated, The Hokage, the village leader and most powerful ninja, was able to subdue the fox by sealing its soul inside the body of an orphaned baby boy, Now that boy, Uzumaki Naruto, has grown up to become a ninja-in-training, learning the art of ninjutsu with his classmates Sakura and Sasuke, The trio of student ninjas study under the instruction of their teacher, Kakashi, With Kakashi, the group faces a series of dangerous and daunting tests and challenges, Through their adventures, the young ninjas learn the importance of friendship, teamwork, loyalty, hard work, creativity, ingenuity, and right vs, wrong, and for his loyalty. He is not afraid to dream and yearns to be accepted for who he is.

It is one of the best animations which I have ever watched, even better than Fruit basket and Sailormoon. I want to have the Naruto Spirit and to proclaim loudly one day too that "it is my way of living" just like he proclaimed "it is his way of nin ja". There is truly a lot of moral which we can learn from the story... Still rushing through the episodes.. But it shall be an exciting journey for me..

This entry was supposed to be posted yesterday but something cropped up halfway through that I need to divert my attention to MSN. All things are settled now...

The last thing on my mind.. my invitation list.. I forgot who I invited and who I have not... Even worst, I forgot who has agreed to come.. I'm just too busy...Never mind.. all things shall go on smoothly...

wonderful! 

Saruke  

RoCk lEe 

OEI! 

Naruto - Jutsu! 

Kakashi  

NAruto - 2 

Naruto -san 

Time to have a serious relationship...

WITH MY BOOK...

I'm quite proud of myself today. Completed what I am supposed to study today and on top of that I had lunch with my sister today since it is her off day. Seriously, the food at Sizzler is really horrendous now as compared to the past. Worst than those sold by the hawker. Even NUS sells better food than Sizzler. However, I did enjoy myself with my sister since I have not really gone out with her for a long time. I'm counting down to her payday because she promised to buy me a Digicam after her payday this month. YipppEEE! And guess What !!! Her pay day is this Saturday. Looking forward to see my camera... *Beam*

I guess my parents are enjoying themselves now in Australia... The house seems quiet without them...I am starting to miss them... Hope they will have a great time there...

Tomorrow shall be a happy day for me ...!!

YiPpeee ... 2 presentations down...

I am beginning to enjoy the adrenaline rush before every presentation... The rapid heartbeating and self hypnotic mentality... One last presentation to go... But it shall not be the end...1 more essay due and 3 more mid terms.... I shall take one step at a time...

Today's presentation - Well , not the best of all my presentations but relatively satisfactory.. Made a drastic mistake in the powerpoint about the the dependent variable.. I guess that is the result of multi tasking while doing the powerpoint.

No regrets though..That's what Hoiting always said... I put in my best for the project...

Now I shall start mugging for my adolescence quiz next tuesday... not forgetting my gek quiz this Thursday...

Mug Mug Mug....

I hope I will have the motivation to carry on the race...

Chilled… I need to chill myself to keep my cool.

The worst day ever…Even late at night, people want to bother with me with a topic, which I do not want to talk about, or should I say I want to avoid talking about?

Even in my blog entries, I do not talk about them anymore. I am tired of explaining myself repeatedly…People can’t give me an answer to my questions. All people care is giving me loads and loads of the knowledge, which they believed in.

To me, they are merely self-fulfilling prophesy. I have counter argued dozens of examples and I am tired of it. I am really sick of people trying to debate with me over the topic. They just go on and on. People just cannot give me an answer. All they do is ask me to believe…My answer to them – “why should I believe in the first place if I am not sure whether it exists?”

I tried to be soft in my words. However, the softer the words are, the more the explaining comes. It does no help. It only reinforces what I believe now because it makes me surer that no one can ever give me an answer…

Please leave me alone for a period of time….just treat me like a normal friend…It would be better for me…this is what I want if you ask me….

There are so many things on my mind nowadays.

So many things to reflect and handle...

I received an sms today from one of my friends. Her ex-boyfriend had took her password and wrote nasty things about her in her friendster account. I really don't understand how two people who were deeply in love once can ever do such a thing to hurt the other party when things turned sour...

Is this really the real nature of human?

Dark and unpredictable...

Will she ever learn to trust again?

Shooting stars - Naruto

A dream is like a shooting star
Like a rainbow when the rain stops
It brings light into my heart
Things I continue to be troubled by,
All are solved with one answer
I won't lie

I wonder what's correct
I wonder what's not correct
During those times, raise your hands to the sky
Raise both your hands higher into the air
Higher and Higher,
hopefully, you can grasp it
Your limitless future

Time is like a shooting star
It shines for a long time
It will come by strongly again
Today, which will never come twice
I won't give up.


Kanashimi Wo Yasashisa Ni (english)

Turning sadness into kindness

Turning sadness into kindeness
Your uniqueness into strennth
It's okay to get lost so begin walking
Once again, once again

Do you like to be praised by
Answering everyone's expectations?
Will your smile always be beautiful
Even if you hide your true self?

Just dreaming the beginning then waking up
The continuation can be reached someday by myself
The most important thing is always
Without any shape
Even if you have it or lose it
You'll never know

Turning sadness into kindeness
Your uniqueness into strength
It's okay to get lost so begin walking
Once again, once again

Unfair adults are always
Giving lectures everytime we meet
Being unable to show their true selves
They get grouchy as they get hurt
Getting the new wind on your side
It's now okay to search for the blue bird

The most important thing is always
Without any shape
Even if you have it or lose it
You'll never know

Turning sadness into kindeness
Your uniqueness into strength
It's okay to get lost so begin walking
It's natural like the rainbow
That somehow appears after tears
The rain stopped

So the most important thing is always
Without any shape
Even if you have it or lose it
You'll never know

Turning sadness into kindness
Your uniqueness into strength
Believeing that you should be able to do it
Once again, once again
Once again, are you ready?

YiPpEE!

Finally completed doing the projects...one which I hated and one which I enjoyed doing.

I realised I have emerged as a stronger and more independent person from the projects....I used to hate doing project alone for fear of not being able to do a good job. But now , I have confidence that I can do a good job on my own. I hope that I will have all individual projects next semester.

In the past, I have always believe in teamwork and people doing their best to reach a common goal. Most of my group projects have always been a great success. Joanne bought to my mind some of our projects we did together in secondary school like color therapy and skin grafting yesterday. Our groups were always predetermined by the teachers and we always ends up together in the same group . Tough luck, ya. It was quite funny though because we always have a weird combination of people in our groups. But we had loads of fun at that time because things were much more simpler.

Now I still believe in teamwork but it only extends to certain people. I used to hear people complain about lousy group mates. I didn't really understand how they feel at that time until I came to university. Only after 4 semesters did I realised that things are much easier when you are doing projects on your own. You don't have to wait for hours to meet at a time where everyone can make it. You can do it anytime you want , even in the middle of the night. You don't have to worry about freeloaders not committing to the projects. I think it is only in times like that, that you realised how much potential you have inside you. At the same time, you will also realise who are the ones who will turn to you only when they need your help and give you patronising answers when you need theirs.

Anyway, I'm so proud of myself for completing 2 projects yesterday. My social work group was quite effective and we took less than 3 hours to finish one project... It was a blessing as compared to my other group...I shall declare today as a day of relaxation...hahhahah...shall indulge on my Naruto animations later.

YiPpeEEEEeEeEe!!!!

How time flies..... some of them are no longer the same...
Clement has lesser hair now.. almost bald....
Jinwei has been taken to the woodbridge hospital due to personality disorders. (too much involvement in drama)
Fred becomes shrek...
Siyuan decided to be a monk...
Idil went for bleaching to have fair skin...
Jieying and Rac have become toilet cleaners...
haizz...
last of all.. me and ziyi have become prettier...
hahahahahaha....

One , two , three , four , five....

Whoosh!

Been feeling quite pissed these few days... Try as I might.... I guess a group project means that we are all suppose to have some responsiblity...

I hate people using busy as an excuse for this and that....for shirking of responsibility of their part...I always believe that no matter how busy one is, you should be doing your part in the group...It is just about time management and your willingness to allocate some time to it....

I HATE FREE LOADERS IN THE GROUP!

Maybe I should be like Lacretia...Just shoot directly at free loaders... although it may not be pleasing.. at least ... everything will come out fine...

Whatever it is, I hope everything will come out fine next week..

Damn pissed now!!!

Finally , taking some time off to breath....

I took off one of my previous posts a few days ago. It wasn't meant to hurt anyone or to evoke any kind of bad feelings in anyone. But I guess I was hurt although I didn't show it.

It hurts even more when the person saying it , is you.

Anyway , I guess there are times which I hurt you without knowing it too...

I guess I own you an apology too , ya ....

We shall be friends forever! :p

Finally I got to watch "crash" ! A really commentable Oscar winning movie. Crash is not about some air planes or action movies. I guess the title gave a lot of people the wrong idea. It is actually about racism.

A beautiful movie. Interesting plot and unexpected ending for every character. Below is the summary of the movie...


A Brentwood housewife and her DA husband - a Persian store owner - two police detectives, who are also lovers - an African-American television director and his wife, a Mexican locksmith, two car-jackers, a rookie cop, a middle-aged Korean couple and they all live in Los Angeles. And, during the next 36 hours, they will all collide. 'Crash' takes a provocative, unflinching look at the complexities racial tolerance in contemporary America. Diving headlong into the melting pot of post-9/11 Los Angeles, this urban drama tracks the volatile intersections of multi-ethnic characters as they struggle to overcome their fears while careening in and out of one another's lives. In the gray area between black and white, victim and aggressor, there are no easy answers.

I shan't tell you more...keeping you in suspense... Do go and watch if you all like intellectual movies....

Just had my social week quiz yesterday. Finally it is over. But I do not forsee very good result - just average, I guess.

3 compulsory textbooks for the module. How can one ever study all 3 ? Furthermore , all the 3 books have different focuses. Hope I won't died so badly.

It was quite boring during Dev tutorial today. All of us were lost in our own world. Too saturated with all our other projects and essays which are due in the upcoming week. In the end, nothing constructive came up during our discussion. In the end, Weiyang was made our scapegoat because he had to present the rubbish which we discussed. First time seeing him so angry... sorry once again....

Feels like dying my hair black. Sick of colored hair....

Should I go to the salon tomorrow?


ZzzzzZzZzzzz

PROUDLY PRESeNTING .... XIN's BIRTHDAY!







Variety of Amkian !! I love gathering !

The 2/2 class... including Xin xin who has married into our family !