Happy NEw YeaR!

It is the start of a brand new year according to the ChINEse Calender.Chinese New year has become just another occasion in my life. I used to like Chinese New Year very much but as I grow older, it seems to get less exciting.However, this year, things are slightly different. My uncle's wife just gave birth a baby girl- not the kind of babies, which will melt my heart- nevertheless, she is cute. My cousin just got married. This was the first year I got my hongbao from him. I still remember how he likes to bully my cousins when I was young. New year day always, bring back many memories. Practically all my cousins from my paternal side attended the same primary school. It was like a family school to us. My dad used to drive some of us to school while my uncle will drive us back. We used to play and look out for each other in school. We were still young and naive then. Now, we are all grown up, excelling in different areas of our lives.

My distant relatives always think that I am the younger sister. Well, not sure, whether that is a compliment. However, they feel that my younger sister behaves more like an older sister. Well, probably, I am just too submissive to my younger sister. I cannot really be bothered to argue with her unless I have to. I guess I am a giving sister... or should I say a lazy sister because I always ask her for opinions? However, she is fierce to me sometimes and likes to lecture me like a Dajie. However, she still cares and loves me. ( PS: To Ziyi - 10 pots filled with love. Guess her occupation?

God, please let me know more of you each day... Teach me to love and give me strength each brand new day....

Dorcas and me!!Friends forever! 

Started off the day thinking that probably I should go to school early today to study, In the end, I went to school an hour earlier and had lunch with Ephraim instead. It was a bad choice because he was fasting. I hate having lunch with people who are fasting. I mean it is quite weird. Anyway, I must remember that Ephraim always fast on Friday. However, it is always great to have lunch with him. Crappy as usual. We went on a debate of whether social worker should really treat their clients as clients instead of friends. Tough discussion though. Both of us bought up valid points supporting both stand. In the end, he insisted that we should treat them as clients to protect the welfare of the social workers. I was not convinced but I am just so tired to debate with him. Developmental lecture was next. It seems like there are lesser and lesser people each lecture because it was being webcasted. I have no choice but to attend because I do not have the discipline to watch webcast. After that, I went Orchard to celebrate Dorcas’s birthday. I finally bought my favourite Mickey shirt. Yippee! I have always been wanting to buy it.

We had dinner at Marche with her JC friends. Her friends were all very vocal and fun-loving. Super intellectual as well, mostly from NUS science. Faintzzz…Thank God I could communicate with them since I was the odd one out, as I did not come from her JC. Sobzzzz.. After diner, we wanted to walk to Esplanade. Halfway through, we passed by a coffeebean which looks super comfy. In the end, we settled ourselves there, chatting the night away.

Came home with a headache.. arrrrgggg… I hate that feeling… shall drink more water …..

I think I am going to be brain dead soon. I just woke up. Can you imagine? I missed a lunch date with Serene. Gosh! No wonder I am getting slower and slower in my thinking. Wasted my whole morning. Yawn! I better start studying tonight for my abnormal psychology quiz. Damn....Please remind me to study....

Thinking through the comments people gave me in unison at different timing, I realised something may need to be clarified. Many people , especially people in my old cg, had came to asked me whether I was coping well in my new CG. I was quite bewildered though because most of them said that I did not look as happy as I was before in church. Uncle Kaf commented that I could be much happier in my new cg.


Was it true? This I really don't know. I mean this transition, changes and the forming of new bondings with people really tire me out. I am not saying that I am unhappy but just exhausted. I guess the dynamic of NUS cg is really different from my previous cgs. Most of us are quite opinionated and stubborn. Well, I am one good example. I feel that we are still at the stage of exploring and accomodating each other. No deep but mediocre sharing. Seriously , all of us are really "new" to each other. I guess it will take sometimes before things start to warm up. Most of the time, we need to give and take, accept everyone's fault just as they accept mine. I'm still learning to adapt.

I hope we will grow together spiritually as a family of Christ- to love and care for one another.

Till then , I hope I will look happier in my cg in case people misunderstand me again...

A tired day today.
2 lectures and 1 tutorial at one go really drained all my energy.

Adolescence lecture - 8/10
Sw2104 - 4/10
Adolescence tutorial - 6.5/10

Well, social work lecture sucks. Maybe I just don't have a good impression of social work modules after the exposure. The lecturer was so boring today that I nearly dozed off. I guess I am quite lenient with the grading. I bet Lacretia will give it a 0 out of 10. Hahaha...It's great to have her for most of my tutorials , at least there is someone to bicker with me. Life is not so boring after all. Stephen Lim will be a TA once again for developmental psychology. Too bad Hoiting is not taking it. Such a great pity.

I met up with Kevin and friends today for "hightea" ( was late for 2 hours, haha). It been a long long time since I met up with them. I didn't get to see Shaohan because he needs to attend a seminar and I was ultra late. Oopps. Once again, Kevin has changed his image. He looks like Bruce lee now, but he will be cutting his hair soon, so I guess there will be another surprise. Howard , that stupid old man changed his handphone without telling us. We suspect he has already went back to his hometown in Shanghai to advance his career. Seriously speaking, I really miss him. It's been like 1 and a half year since we last met. I guess now we can only wait till he comes online. The rest of us will be meeting up in mid May again, after our exam for another reunion, plus taking u/e together next semester. I hope history repeats itself if you know what it means. haha..

I feel so loved these few days.

Thanks Joanne for your thoughtfulness. My mum loves your pineapple tarts. Yummy!
Thanks Huiping for telling me so much about how to handle "color and vison". I really appreciate you for lending me your textbook even before I asked.
Thanks Peiyun for the belated Christmas present.
Thanks Ephraim for being so so so so patient with a rebellious girl like me.
And a BIG BIG thanks to God for letting me meet these wonderful people.

I went to watch the much waited movie - Memoir of a Geisha with Justina after service just now. Well, I used to like the book very much when I was in secondary school. I guessed I read the book 2-3 times at least. At that time, I felt that the book was really wonderfully written, so I really had much expectation for the movie. Well, personally, I feel that the movie was not really as good as what most of them said. Towards the end, I feel that the life of the geisha was as beautifully protrayed as was written in the book. Beautiful here does not means physically but rather most of the intense emotions and changes were missing. But then again, what can one really expects in a 2 hour plus movie? They can't possibly act everything out. Then again , it may be me. The time lag between the time I read the book and the screening of the movie was probably too wide. I probably have grown out of the "adolecence" stage. As I walked out of the cinema, I felt really disappointed. To me , it was just another love story with lots and lots of distractions in the middle. The good thing was the lovers got together eventually. At least it does not have a heart wrenching ending. Let's hope Da vin ci Code will be a better movie. I can't wait for it to be out!

Finally back home.

I didn't fell asleep during CG today. I nearly died laughing when Xian xian mistook the word sake as sick. I was quite tired so I rejected the supper offer. It was fun talking to Ephraim while waiting to the taxi. Seriously, he is a nice brother, always making people feel comfortable around him. Of course, a lot of people commented that I always bully him. As if. I will never bully such a kind soul like him. haha..Or maybe I will. Whatever.

I was just talking to Shaohan online. And guess what..I can't believe it. He can't graduate this semester because he missed out some modules which the faculty requires. Gosh! But then again, he will be doing his MASTERS in South Asia. He is the most knowledgeble person I ever seen. He seems to know everything at the tip of his hands. You can just sit beside him and listen to him rattle on all day long. He really amazed me too. I met him during my first semester while I was taking my SS. That was how I met howard( who forsaked his first class honor because he sees no point in getting one, plus he is freaking rich. I like his character though. Frank and direct.) , Kevin (who has a super kind heart although he has diabetes.) and Huiyi who became one of my best friends in NUS. I love them all. I remembered Shaohong volunteering to write the whole term essay for us. OMG! It was really a blessing from heaven. He is really good - not that he wrote the whole essay for us, but the fact that he write marvellously. I guess he was scared that we will jeopardise the whole essay.Haha!

I'm so excited. I will be meeting them for lunch on Tuesday. heeee...Tada...It will be a great week ahead!!!

Slacking in Nus library now, waiting *patiently* for my cell group to start at 8.

I'm so bored now. Ephriam went to meet huixian for diner but I didn't wanted to go because I don't feel like socialising today.

Joanne and I had a good chat with Satish just now. Darn! That guy is really lucky, got a scholarship to study in Nus and is paid GOOD money per month somemore. He is still the same old MCP, trying to exterminate the Chio-bu club. Well, I suspect he has a motive for majoring in Political Science. It is just part of his ploy to gain some military power before he kills us off, one by one. I guess I better call for an urgency meeting for the chiobus before he succeeds in his plan. haha.. Yes. I am mad. Boredom can drive some madness in me and not to mention a mental case-nut which is innate in my brain.

Dorcas's birthday is coming. And guess what ! I'm her special guest that day. haha.. Going to give her a surprise during the diner. I bet she will be real happy since I always make her go GA-Ga too with my non-sensical dreamy jokes and teasing her with Mark. Woohooo....

I can't believe it is only 7.20pm now. 40 more minutes to go. Arrrggg...Please pray that I won't fall asleep later during the sharing ...zzzzzzzz

I was seriously pissed just now by an sms.

Dammit.

I hate people who twist my words when I told them several times that it is NOT the case. Can't people just accept what is the real truth? Now I understand by what it means when they said that when people form an opinion about something , it is super hard to change. I just hate it when people just twist my words because they THINK that it is a better reason. C'MON! I know how I feel about certain things and I do not need any F.busybody to tell me what to do. Super pissed now. I just kill whoever who ask me the same question again!

WTH!

Sianfied...

There was supposed to be P n P today but I skipped it because I didn't feel like going.

Anyway, I spent quite a lot of money these 2 weeks.

$160 - for 4 textbooks
$300 - for my new spectacles and contacts lens
$96- for my concession pass

I nearly spent 500 dolars. Well, I guess my mum really loves me because she has agreed to pay for all my expenses on top of my pocket money. I love her too. And of course my father. He had also gave me extra money for my new year clothes. I really thank God for a father like him who will come to school to fetch me home unconditionally when I stayed back late at night to study.

3 lunch invitations from the same person = red light = scoldings

Gosh... I think I am dead. Just shoot me....:(

Someone challenged me psychologically recently and it backfired terribly. I hate people who use psycho-warfare on me, especially people who think they know me very well and will sure fall into the trap. All I can say is sorry, please try harder next time.


Recently one of my friends commented that he will not be judgemental and therefore we can be truthful to him. But when he said that , something kept dwelling in me. I knew something was wrong. In the end, the absolute mistake in the sentence he said slammed right into my face on my bus ride to school. How can one be non-judgemental? Oh please! Even God judges people, that is why people often make passing remarks that judgement day is coming! Even psychology has emphasized on first impression. When we make new friends for the first time, we already made judgements of how the person is by the way he carries himself or dresses. Well, therefore I come to the conclusion that my friend is just being too self confident or maybe he wasn't even aware that he was sometimes judgemental too. Or even worst, he does not know what judgement really means.


As usual, I need to compile prayer requests on Monday. And as usual again, there will be people who will miss the deadline drastically despite the countless reminders I sent them. Whatever it is , I shall just send out when I finish....I hope they will send in their personal requests tomorrow....

Leehua's bday... learning majong 

the family reunion.. 

Nice cake!! 

before the party 

Life is so boring. I just hate myself. I was suppose to read one chapter of my abnormal psy for my lecture yesterday but I kept procrastinating. Till now, I'm still stucked with the first few pages. Seriously, this semester, I'm going to be more consistent than ever.

Yes. I am a nerd and not just a mere nerd. I am ULTRA nerd. I decided to start early so I would not panick when exams come. I just hate the feeling of worrying. It is gonna be a semester of fun and study. I hope I will stick by my resolution.

Arrrgg... I am so bored.. I need to play some games now...

Today marks the first day of school.

I woke up super early for my Gem at 8am.

Guess what?

I reached at 7am. 1 hour earlier. I can't believe it too. I had underestimated the speed of the bus after "long" holiday. In the end, I roamed around science. Well, I was quite disppointed at the crowd in my lecture though. All PRC. Not that I dislike PRCs, well, actually , I do. I mean it is just me. Maybe it just stems from all the ugly stories about the PRCs which I heard from my friends. Whatever. But I am real pissed today. The PRCs kept talking continuously today. What the heck! If they can't understand the lecturer who is a foreigner, they should have at least shut their mouths for the benefits of others who want to listen to the lecture. The only thing which I am thankful about is that the lecture is webcasted. I bidded the module thinking that it was not because it was not stated in the ivle. Praise the lord. I had been praying quite hard for it to be webcasted. Hurray!!

Next was abnormal. It is being taught by a visiting lecturer this semester. Marlene. Sounds like a wizard name to me though. She looks quite poised and calm. She teaches like Dr Nair. Strictly to the textbook and no lecture notes. But her lecture was quite interactive though. Ok. I think I am being contradicting if you know what I mean. It is real fun taking with Hoiting and Lacretia- just like cognitive last semester.

After the lecture, Hoiting and me went to co-op to buy the required texts. It was as crowded as last semester. I bought all my texts. It was super heavy. We had 5% discount because of the co-op card which Ziyi has. At first, the lady refused to let us have the discount because no sharing of cards were allowed. I guess she took pity on us and gave in to us eventually. But she reminded us not to do that again. We wanted to go for lunch at Arts but it was super saturated with people- no seats to be seen. In the end , we settled for Biz canteen. I felt like vomiting after eating the dumpling soup. I didn't want that in the first place but the vendor of the Beijing store insisted that they only sell dumpling soup today. Nothing else. We were left with no choice. Due to the opportunity cost, we decided to settle with it anyway.

My day has not ended. Orchard was my next stop. Ziyi wanted to spend her Isetan voucher so I accompanied her to shop there. She bought a white blouse eventually. We shared a lot during our coffee session. It was real fun. I haven't really got the chance to talk to her ever since holiday.

At diner time, I ventured on my journey to meet Joanne and biyun for diner. As usual , when the three of us gathered, bitching session began. It was fun, just sitting there and crapped about everything and everyone before the semester stress sets in. I hope it will be a great semester ahead for all.

I'm really too tired.... Till then , nites...

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Just Came back from Leehua's 21st birthday, but I shall blog about it later. Anyway , I received a present today- from SWEETIE TaMMY. A Champagne and strawberry lipbalm. Smells just like white chocolate. I love it ABSOLUTELY! Thanks Tammy ...Will try and rush out your shirt before your birthday!!!Thanks for everything!! I love you , sis!!!





Another lipbalm...

Lipbalm from Sweetie tammy to me.. 

Acting poor do helps sometimes. My mum had voluntarily agreed to pay for my cable bill this morning, not forgetting the lump sum of money she had already given me for my New Year shopping. Life has been good. Even my sister is taking pity on a poor girl like me who can afford her time to do part time. She had agreed to give me a small sum of money to subsidise for my New Year clothing. Well, I hope my dad will give me some tokens too. He has been giving me for years. He dotes on me the most and I love him too. Well, it seems like I can do more with the extra cash. However, alas, this year is going to be a “hole in a pocket” year. Most of my friends are turning 21, which mean that more money needs to be spend on presents. I just went for Xinyi’s party, will be going to leehua’s one in a few hours time and I just got another birthday bomb on MSN yesterday from Lacretia on 12 Feb. I anticipate for more to come. I guess I need to find a tuition job soon; otherwise, I will really have to eat bread everyday.

I like Joy’s nick on MSN yesterday. It goes like that

I asked God to give me happiness. He said “No. I give you blessing. Happiness is up to you.”

It really makes some sense to me. God can only give you blessing. Whether or not you will be satisfied and happy is really up to you to decide. No matter how blessed you are, if you find no joy in doing what you like or even your life now, you will always be living in a tunnel of darkness.

I used to think that giving is a joy, but now I realised constant giving will simply just tire you out.

“Well, but you are a Christian, I thought the bible said that giving is better than receiving.”

Well, the bible does say that and I do not deny that. However, I am not perfect and I have no wish to be perfect. Anyway, throughout my life, I have never seen any perfect Christians, not even one. Instead, I see loads of people with God on their mouth. All words and no action. It simply just pissed me off sometimes. It is scary when you know someone better and you realised that he/she is really a pain in the ass. It takes time to judge a person. It is really a great relief when your heart turns cold. Real cold. You are no longer bothered by how people perceive you or how your friends are treating you. I guess I am happier now. Just like how Joanne feels when she took on a new identity- as a nonchalant freaking woman. (I wanted to say bitch but I was afraid she would strangle me to death in school. Yes, Joanne. I still love you as my friend. Anyway, I am a bitch too. Haha)

It has been a long 2005. I guess I learnt more each day. I learnt to be
- Independent – no longer feeling the need to be in a circle of friends. I can shopping on my own now.
- Non- nostalgic – No longer placing my old friends on the priority list because I see no need to. Life has to go on. We should move on with our life. I see no point in being there for people when you know you will always be second choice in their lives.
- Retired as a full-fledged “counsellor” for ALL people, only for selected few. I hate being made used of and being thrown aside after their problems have been solved.
- Study and play at the same time- Yes. To handle both at the same time is a great chore. I hope I will do better in the brand new year. To score well and play hard.
- Being a responsible member in the family.
- Taking unconstructive criticism with a pinch of salt. No longer affected by what others think of me. I am not perfect nor are they. No point lamenting on small matters.
- To say no when I have to.


Finally, 2005 is gone. I feel like brand new. I love the way my life is now. Short and sweet. Thanks to all the people who had stand by me when I was down, especially Joanne. You really taught me how to live life another way although you may not know it. Hope it will be a great clubbing year for you. Thanks too for the people who have used me time and again. You all have really moulded a brand new independent Qing. Sad to say, Qing’s helpline will be engaged as off 1st January 2006. For better or for worst, I shall be a brand new Qing.

I learnt how to cook beehoon today.

Me and Lena went to Xinyi's house to fry beehoon for Xinyi's birthday today. It was quite fun. She bought a lot of things for her birthday. Wow... I didn't know organising a 21st birthday can be so time-consuming and expensive. Xinyi bought loads and loads of food for her birthday, ranging from chicken wings all the way to coke.

Of course, we took a cab down to her chalet which she booked for her birthday. Dong dong went there early. Thank God he bought his platoon of friends to help us carry the things. There were lenard( my best friend as what Xinyi has said) , Charles and another guy ( forgot the name though). It was really fun meeting up with my JC friends again. Me and leehua helped to barbeque for the first half of the party. In the end , we gave up because we were too tired and smelly. We really have great skills although some of the food we barbequed were rejected and I really mean some.... not a lot.. haha...A lot of her friends came though.. did not really interact with them since I don't really know them. The cake was also very delicious - mango flavored. the cream was mango flavored too... heee.. I want a cake like that too... although I love yam cake... heee...

Feeling quite tired .... need go sleep.. so excited about leehua's birthday on Friday... It's gona be real fun too...

Green
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!


Try it out at http://web.tickle.com/color/

I lose something quite important to me for the second time. Not only that, I even forgot the date related to it. I just feel like smacking myself for being such a careless girl. I guess what Ziyi said is true..

If it really means so much to me, I should not lose it in the first place but I will treasure it to the fullest. But still , I lose it not once but twice.

I guess somethings are really not to be.....

Learning to let go...

Went shopping with my cousin, sister and aunt just now or should I say yesterday? Anyway , I wanted to blog just now when suddenly , there seemed to be so much hoo-ha about what modules to take that I was in a confusion. Thank God everything is settled now.

Back to my shopping. Well , I was suppose to shop for my new year clothes today but I ended up buying something else instead. Still, I am so proud of my purchases today.


The first purchase of the day

A nice colorful belt which I needed badly. When I was clearing up my cupboard the other day , I realised that all my belts were blue in color. I searched quite long for a belt I really fancy. I'm not sure whether you all feel this way when you all buy things, but it is really like love at first sight. You know you must get your hand on it when your eyes are set upon it. I'm sure it will brighten up my whole closet. Yippee....





The 2nd purchase of the day

A nice pair of white sandals or is it slippers? Hmm.. I really can't differentiate between the two. Both seems so casual. Anyway , I bought the white pair while my sister got herself a black one. Actually, shoes wasn't on my mind in the first place but since my hands itched to buy something...Tada..here's another pair of shoes to add to my collections.







The third purchase of the day

A brightening face mask , a pink cherry flavored lipgloss and a shimmering eye shadow.

I can't wait to use all three of them, especially the shimmering eye shadow. I suddenly have the desire to either go pubbing or clubbing so I can use it.

The lipgloss smells super nice too. It looks super sweet, just like me. Ok...sorry for being BHB... But still..nvm.. haha



Last purchase of the day



CHACHOS with SALSA sause. Gosh....It is the best combination. The last time I ate it was a few years back. I always wanted to eat that again but I kept forgetting to buy it. Finally , I am reunited with them once again.... It is really easy to make.. some people like to dip in warm sauce while some like it cold. For me, I like it warm. Yipee.. gonna try them tomorrow.





My sister bought loads of things too.....She spent almost 100 bucks.. Arrgg!!! I hate rich sister... Blab...But she agreed to buy me a apparel of my choice... hee.. time to make my choice..


There is still so much shopping to do before school starts... Anyone interested, please book me 2 days before hand.. heee...

Say cheese... Gathering at loyalle's house..